Sexology: what to do when the female orgasm is not there?

It is not uncommon for a woman to experience pleasure and desire during sexual intercourse without achieving orgasm.

This situation is experienced differently by everyone. For some, the difficulty or impossibility of going to the threshold of enjoyment can lead them to abandon sexuality, while for others, this will have no impact on the feeling of having a sexual life altogether. made to flourish. However, this can pose a problem for the sexual partner, who may feel dissatisfaction or even a loss of confidence.

The possibility of having an orgasm certainly depends on the partner's way of doing things, but it is also a psychological question. It may be a lack of self-esteem, a shame in experiencing the ultimate pleasure in front of another, a difficulty in letting go... or more simply untimely concerns which tend to interfere with the relationship. sexual. In any case, it is better to avoid focusing on the “obligation” to have an orgasm… because thinking will be totally counterproductive for the level of arousal. To counter the problems caused by the absence of orgasm, discussion with the sexual partner is very important and sex therapy can help to understand the causes of this absence of orgasm and allow women who take this step to regain this strictly personal pleasure, despite the presence of the other.

Apart from psychological causes, the absence of orgasm can in particular be linked to pain or discomfort felt during the act, to taking certain medications or to hormonal changes. For example, as menopause approaches, the decline in estrogen can decrease natural lubrication, leading to drying out of the vaginal area. This drop in estrogen can also increase the time it takes to orgasm and lead women to give up on the idea of ??having an orgasm during sex…

In these cases, lubricants, herbal oils to enhance arousal or exercises to strengthen the perineum can facilitate pleasure. In case of pain, it will be necessary to treat with appropriate medication or rehabilitation. Finally, there is also a painless shock wave method, which consists, in women as in men, in increasing local vascularization, because the better the blood circulation, the more reactive the sexual area.

  Pascale Pommier de Santi

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